The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
the night ended with taco bell and tears
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
