oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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