She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
