Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
