I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
