you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
