He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
