I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
