How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
