We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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