I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
