I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
