Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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