Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
