Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
