i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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