I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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