He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
