can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
