just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
