I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
