I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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