Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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