The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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