New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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