they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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