Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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