i jhust puked up my retainher.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
