went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize