did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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