i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
