I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
