you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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