She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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