Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
