Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
