If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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