As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
