Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
