Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
