windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
