As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
