you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
