FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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