Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize