i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
