And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
