Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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