a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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