fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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