why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Are my feet made of real feet?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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