so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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