I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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