I don't think brook has ever known best
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
