new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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