I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Congratulations! We have a period
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