Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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