Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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