We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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