If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
