Tell her she can't have a vagina
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
