he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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