i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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