You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
