I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize