i barfeds in our rink
you would pick up someone in the library
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
